The Day My World Fell Apart (Part 4)

I thought I had everything figured out. Play along, get my full deliverance, tell the whole truth. When they say God knows your heart, it’s the truth. Now, when I look back, I just know that he saw my intentions while I thought I was being smart.

Here’s how everything fell apart. At the end of my final deliverance session, my pastor asked me to bring the main object that gives me power… I was like a deer caught in the headlights.

How do I tell her that I don’t know what it is? I’ve been playing along all this time. If I had been honest, perhaps she would have offered to assist me in bringing this thing forward.

What’s crazy is that even in the midst of panic, I was still trying to save face. So, I went home and grabbed everything I could think of…. I even brought a bag of rice girl… a bag of rice.

When I brought the items to the church, they were obviously not what my pastor was looking for. But, she offered to come to my place and help me retrieve it.

I’m not even going to lie, I thought I was outsmarting her. I felt that if she goes to my home, then she’ll help me pick the item out and I will get my full deliverance, then I can tell my story. Remember, I said deliverance happens in stages, and it takes time….

By the time my pastor asked me to bring the object, it had been about 2 months since we started the deliverance sessions. It was lackluster… Nothing was happening in my eyes. But now, lookin back, I see that many things did happen. I… well, I guess I’ll say God…was making progress that I could not see or understand.

This is how he works sometimes. It’ll look like nothing is happening, but in the end, you’ll realize he was working behind the scenes the whole time.

So, when she came to my home, she waited for me to bring the thing out. Panic set in, because my plan didn’t go accordingly. That was a Thursday night. She told me that if I couldn’t surrender this item, she would have to ask me not to come to the church anymore as I was not serious about getting my full deliverance.

That night and the next day, I begged her to allow me to come to the church and try one more time. I grabbed some old waist beads I had and took them to the church as a last ditch effort. By then, I was desperate but had given myself up to my fate. There were a few people who were there to be witnesses to the process.

When they burned the waist beads and nothing happened, she formally asked me to take my children and go. I could tell she was fed up and frustrated. She said since I was not serious, she had to protect the people that were serious in the church. I just took my kids and left.

The last thing I told a former friend at the time was to pray for me. To which she said, “I have been.” With those words, I turned around and secured my kids in the car and left. I don’t think I have any words to describe the shame, pain, and confusion I felt while I was driving home.

This happened on Sunday April 7th, 2024.

As I drove away from the church I’d called home for over a decade, I didn’t realize it yet, but I wasn’t just leaving. I was making my way toward a life I was given another chance to rebuild.