Solo Dating Challenge, The Prequel: The Love I Deserve
Towards the end of last year, I decided to be intentional about giving myself the love I deserve.
When I was in my teens, I was eager to get a boyfriend. I believed that having a boyfriend would make me happy. Then in my early 20s, I was eager to get a man, telling myself that the man who married me would be the one to fill the void in my heart. Marriage didn’t make me happy.
Then after I split up with my husband, I thought dating would fulfill me. It didn’t.
Long story short, I learned that in order to feel loved, I actually have to love myself. My self-love is not anyone else’s responsibility.
As my therapist put it, “You don’t get the love you want. You get the love you deserve and the love you deserve is the love you give yourself.” Those words helped me make sense of all these years of yearning and longing.
Of course, I deserve to be loved! But why would I expect someone to choose me if I can’t choose myself?
Why should someone love me if I can’t love myself? It took me a while to get this…. more than ten years, but I’m finally here. Ready to shower myself with unconditional love.
When I decided to be intentional about myself, I remembered all those times I begged my husband to take me out on a date…. To schedule them, or at least follow through when he did ask me out on a date….. Miserable days, I tell you.
Like I said earlier, towards the end of 2025, I decided to stop waiting for somebody’s son to take me out.
I recently learned that I’m a romantic at heart and being taken out on a thoughtful date makes me so giddy. After waiting to no avail, I realized that this is something I need to do for myself.
If no one is willing to take me out, I need to do this for myself. So, I stopped waiting for the perfect man to ask me out on a date.
So, here we are, after a decade of marriage, I decided to take myself out at least twice a month starting in January 2026.
The plan? A solo Dating Challenge featuring 24 dates in 12 months, divided into two dates each month.
I’m no longer waiting to be chosen.
That life is over, and I’m eager to discover all the hidden parts of the woman I am becoming.
